When I was fifteen,
the only thing I wanted more than a girl was to have some privacy.
I didn't have a room for myself.
Somebody was always home.
And even when I was supposed to be alone,
somebody was there!
Sometimes I hate going home.
It's like I can never be alone.
Every time I turn around, my grandma's right there.
She thinks "alone" is something you get at a bank.
Whenever I turn around, my whole family is right there.
What would you do if you had privacy?
Nothing much, just do whatever I want, whenever I want.
I can't wait till I get my own place.
Well, my grandma has the flu, and I have to make her some hot toddies.
Hot toddies are sick people's happy hour.
Who cares about the flu when you're drunk?
Mom, (I'm) home.
What's going on?
Baby, we're all sick.
So I quarantined the rest of the house
so you're just going to have to stay over there.
But where am I supposed to eat, sleep and go to the bathroom?
Oh Baby, you can sleep on the couch.
And then you can eat free sloppers over at Doc's.
I left you a bucket.
Great, what do I do when the bucket is full?
Rochelle, this is crazy.
First of all, you used $3.97 worth of plastic wrap.
Second, Chris can't live like this.
I called Mr. Omar. He can stay upstairs with him.
Oh no, he can't go up there with all them loose women coming and going.
Yes, he can.
Mr. Omar promised he'd be on his best behavior.
Chris will be fine.
I don't know about this.
Either way, we ain't wasting this much plastic wrap.
So, you might as well send him up to Omar's.
You gotta go upstairs, baby.
All I knew about Mr. Omar was that he liked dead men and live women.
So, I didn't know what to expect.
All right, now Chris, There's a few things should need to understand.
Phone rings, you take the message.
Don't go looking for nothing you ain't supposed to find.
And most importantly, I need my privacy.
So, you stay out of my way, and I stay out of yours.
I'll be back later, so you're on your own.
Now all I need was six white girls and a monkey.