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2 Broke Girls – And Hoarder Culture

Easy I could do.

A professional organizer.

organizer - организатор

You're not a professional organizer.

You're barely a professional waitress.

barely - едва (типа еще чуть чуть и уже нет)
waitress - официантка

I am a genius at organizing things and getting them out of the way.

genius - гений

I recently lost all my money and the promise of a bright future,

promise - обещание
bright - яркий, светлый

and I've organized that into a file in my head

labeled "do not open until you are stronger."

labeled - маркированный; с этикеткой

If I can handle that for myself,

to handle - справляться

I can certainly handle a stranger's light filing.

certainly - безусловно, непременно

If I had known all that craziness was going on in your head,

craziness - безумие, сумасшедствие

I would have ordered you some mexican painkillers.

to order - заказывать, делать заказ
painkiller - болеутоляющее

Or the peruvian.

They're stronger, but sometimes they make you lose control of your hands.

to lose - терять

Thought that was an ibuprofen.

What is Johnny doing here at 3:00 a. m.?

Thought it was a rapist or something.

rapist - насильник

Rapists don't knock and wave.

to knock - стучать, постучать
to wave - махать

And if they looked like that, we wouldn't call them rapists.

We'd call them... Johnny!

What are you doing here?

I'm here to talk to you guys about the church of latter day saints.

church - церковь, храм

And I have to pee. Can I use your bathroom?

to pee - мочиться, писать

No problem. Don't forget to tip the bathroom attendant.

to tip - давать чаевые
attendant - служитель, слуга

What's up, Caroline?

Just trying to find a day job

where I won't get handcuffed to a radiator.

to handcuff - надевать наручники

On craigslist?

This is so romantic.

romantic - романтичный

Jumping over the back wall

to jump over - перепрыгнуть
wall - стена

to drop down and see you in the middle of the night?

It's very Romeo and Juliet.

It is very Romeo and Juliet.

He has to pee, and I'm the nearest toilet.

nearest - ближайший

Please. That's just an excuse.

excuse - извинение, оправдание, предлог

The man defaces buildings.

to deface - портить, искажать

So what? He draws the line at peeing on them?

to draw - рисовать

He came by here to see you.

Pull your hair back. It's kind of in your face.

Pull yourself back. You're kind of in my face.

Thanks, guys.

I was tagging a building nearby,

to tag - помечать
nearby - рядом, поблизости

and I was on the roof I saw that your light was on,

roof - крыша

so I thought I'd stop in and say hey.

Hey. So, Johnny, you just saw our light on from the roof nearby?


Do you always look down when you're up that high?

Not really.


Flying solo tonight.

My lookout guy went into rehab.

lookout - наблюдатель, дозорный
rehab - реабилитация, восстановление

It's kind of a pain. It's really a two-person operation.

pain - боль

Ugh, such a bummer when people can't handle their heroin.

bummer - облом, разочарование
heroin - героин

Hey, max, what are you doing tomorrow night after work?

Any desire to be my lookout guy?

desire - желание, пожелание

I might have some desire to be your lookout guy,

but as far as the "guy" part of "lookout guy" goes, full disclosure

disclosure - раскрытие, разоблачение

What, you don't have a penis?

Oh, I have one.

In a drawer in my bedroom.

drawer - ящик стола

If the cops come tomorrow, I will run like a girl.

to run - бежать

Okay. So pick you up at the diner at 2:00?

to pick up - забрать, подобрать (например можно что то поднять с пола или например подобрать кого то на машине)

Cool. Cool. Cool.

And then Romeo left.

So romantic.

All the weeks of flirting and game playing have finally led to this

to flirt - флиртовать, заигрывать

You two on a late-night roof rendezvous.

rendezvous - рандеву, свидание, место встречи

Hey, genius organizer ….