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So Rachel, what are you, what are you up to tonight?

Well, I was kind of supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon so nothing.

to head - напрявляться, держать курс

Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon god, no, no although.

honeymoon - медовый месяц

Aruba, this time of year? Hey, talk about your big lizards.

lizard - ящерица

Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight

alone - одинокий

Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture

furniture - мебель

Yes, and we're very excited about

excited - в восторге, возбужденный

Well, actually, thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight.

to hang out - болтаться, тусоваться

It's been a long. Oh sure, okay. Sure.

Pheebs you want to help? Oh, I wish I could but I don't want to.

I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things

bracket - кронштейн, скобка

using a bunch of these little worm guys.

bunch - связка, пучок
worm - червь

I have no bracket-y thing I see no worm guys whatsoever

whatsoever - что бы ни было, как бы ни было

and I cannot feel my legs.

leg - нога

What it's? I have no idea. We've done with bookcase.

bookcase - книжный шкафчик

This was Carol's favorite beer.

favorite - любимый

She always drank it out of the can I shoulda known.

Ross, let me ask you a question?

She got the furniture the stereo the good TV.

What did you get?

You guys. Oh god. You got screwed. Oh my god.

to get screwed - облажаться

You know (what) the scariest part is. What if there's only one woman for everybody?

scariest - самый страшный (наистрашнейший)

You know, I mean what if you get one woman and that's it.

Unfortunately in my case there was only one woman for her.

unfortunately - к сожалению

What are you talking about - one woman?

That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you,

flavor - вкус, привкус

let me tell you something Ross

There's lots of flavors out there

this rocky road and cookie dough and bing! - cherry vanilla.

rocky road - какое то шоколадное лакомство с орехами; дословно - каменистая дорога
cookie dough - какой то десерт из печенья; дословно печеньковое тесто

You could get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream.

nut - орех
whipped - всбитый
cream - крем

This is the best thing that ever happened to you.

You got married. You were like what 8?

Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.

to grab - хватать, схватывать
spoon - ложка

I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.

honestly - честно говоря
hungry - голодный
horny - сексуально возбужденный

And stay out of my freezer.

freezer - морозильная камера

I Joanie take you Charles as my lawful husband,

lawful - законный, правомерный

do you take Joanne? Oh see, Joanne loved Chachi.

That's the difference.

difference - разница, различие

Grab a spoon, do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon.

To the words "Billy, don't be a hero” mean anything you.

You know here's the thing

even if I could get it together enough to-to ask a woman out.

Who am I gonna ask?…