What was that again?
I'm a god.
I'm a god. I'm not the God,
I don't think.
Because you survived a car wreck?
You folks ready to order?
I didn't just survive a wreck.
I wasn't just blown up yesterday.
I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted and burned.
Every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender.
I am an immortal.
Special today is blueberry waffles.
Why are you telling me this?
Because I want you to believe in me.
You are not a god.
You can take my word for it.
This is 12 years of Catholic school talking.
I can come back if you're not ready.
How do you know I'm not a god?
How do you know?
Because, It's not possible.
I'll come back.
This is Doris.
Her brother-in-law Carl owns this diner.
She's worked here since she was 17.
More than anything else in her life
she wants to see Paris before she dies.
Oh Boy, would I!
What are you doing?
This is Debbie Kleiser and her fiancé Fred.
Do I know you?
They're supposed to be getting married this afternoon.
But Debbie is having second thoughts.
This is Bill, he's been a waiter for three years,
since he left Penn State and had to get work.
He likes the town, he paints toy soldiers and he's gay.
This is Gus, he hates his life here, he wishes he'd stayed in the Navy.
WelI, could've retired on half pay after 20 years.
Excuse me. Is this some kind of trick?
Or maybe the real God uses tricks.
And maybe he's not omnipotent, he's just been around so long he knows everything.
Ok, who's that?
This is Tom. He worked in the coal mine till they closed it down.
That's Alice. Came over here from Ireland when she was a baby.
She lived in Erie most of her life.
She works in the dress shop,
and makes noises like a chipmunk when she gets real excited.
Hey! It's true.
How do you know these people?
I told you, I know everything.
In about five seconds, a waiter's gonna drop a tray of dishes.
Five, four, three, two, one. This is nuts.
Okay, that's enough.
What about me, Phil?
Do you know me too?
I know all about you.
You like producing, but you hope for more than Channel 9 Pittsburgh.
Well, everyone knows that.
You like boats but not the ocean.
You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains.
There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse
with boards missing from the roof,
and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone.
You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones.
You're very generous.
You're kind to strangers and children.
And when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.
How are you doing this?
I told you. I wake up every day.
Right in Punxsutawney.
And it's always February 2nd.
And there's nothing I can do about it.
If you still can't believe me,
listen: In 10 seconds...
Larry is gonna come through that door
and take you away from me.
But you can't let him.
Please believe me.
You've got to believe me.
You guys ready?
We'd better get going if we're gonna stay ahead of the weather.
…if gotta stay ahead of the weather.